Parenting Is Rewarding. It’s Also Really Hard.

There are things people tell you about parenting before you have children.

They tell you how much you’re going to love them. They tell you how quickly they grow up. They tell you to enjoy every moment.

All of that is true.

But there’s another truth that deserves to be said just as plainly:

Parenting can be really hard.

Sometimes incredibly hard.

I don’t think admitting that takes anything away from how much we love our children. Both things can be true at the same time.

I can look at my children and feel incredibly grateful that I get to be their father.

And then, twenty minutes later, wonder how something so small turned into complete chaos.

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh

Parents know these moments.

You explain why we can’t do something.

Your child looks at you.

You think they understand.

And then they immediately do the exact thing you just talked about.

I recently had one of those days.

One of my children accidentally locked a bedroom door with the key on the other side. I explained what had happened, why it was a problem, and why we couldn’t lock the doors.

Not long afterward?

Another door was locked.

At some point, you have to decide whether you’re going to lose your mind or accept that you are apparently living inside a sitcom.

Then there are the public moments.

The restaurant. The store. The airplane. The elevator.

Your child is having a meltdown, and you’re trying to help them through whatever they’re feeling while another part of your brain is wondering:

How many people can hear this right now?

Those moments can be stressful. They can be embarrassing. They can test every bit of patience you thought you had.

And yet, somehow, they’re part of the story too.

Children Aren’t Little Adults

This is something I have to remind myself of.

What seems obvious to me isn’t necessarily obvious to a child.

Adults have years of experience understanding consequences, regulating emotions and putting things into perspective — and we’re still not particularly good at it all the time.

Children are learning all of that from scratch.

Waiting is hard.

Sharing is hard.

Being told no is hard.

Going to bed when you aren’t tired is hard.

Trying something you’re afraid of is hard.

Sometimes a child’s reaction seems completely disproportionate to us because we’re looking at the situation through adult eyes.

To them, it might feel enormous.

That doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be boundaries. It doesn’t mean children get to do whatever they want.

But I’ve found myself thinking more about the difference between correcting a behavior and helping a child understand it.

Those aren’t always the same thing.

Then There Are the Moments That Make It Worth It

Parenting has a funny way of doing that.

A difficult morning can be followed by something hilarious at lunch.

A meltdown can be forgotten because of a hug ten minutes later.

Your child can frustrate you beyond belief and then say something so innocent that you have to turn your head because you’re trying not to laugh.

And sometimes you look at them and realize:

I get to watch this person become who they’re going to be.

That’s pretty incredible.

They’re developing personalities, senses of humor, fears, interests, opinions and dreams right in front of us.

We’re teaching them.

But they’re teaching us too.

I’ve learned that sometimes I have more patience than I thought I did.

Other times? Considerably less.

I’ve learned that occasionally I need to explain something differently instead of simply explaining it again.

And I’ve learned that some of the moments that frustrate us today may become the stories our families laugh about years from now.

That’s Part of Where Timmy Comes From

When I started writing the Do I Have To? stories, I didn’t want Timmy to be a perfect child.

Perfect children aren’t particularly interesting.

And, as far as I can tell, they don’t exist.

Timmy gets impatient. He gets frustrated. He asks questions. He doesn’t immediately understand every lesson the adults around him are trying to teach.

In other words, he’s a kid.

Do I Have to Wait on My Birthday?! is a story about patience, but underneath that is something I’ve experienced repeatedly as a parent:

Knowing something and being able to do it are two very different things.

A child can understand that their birthday isn’t until Saturday.

That doesn’t make Saturday feel any closer.

They can understand that they need to wait.

That doesn’t make waiting easy.

That’s one of the reasons I love stories.

Instead of another lecture from Mom or Dad, children get to watch someone else struggle with the same things they do.

Maybe they laugh at Timmy.

Maybe they recognize themselves in him.

And maybe the lesson lands a little differently because of it.

We’re All Figuring It Out

I certainly don’t have parenting figured out.

I’m not sure anyone does.

There are days when I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job. There are other days when simply getting everybody through the day feels like an accomplishment.

But maybe that’s part of parenting too.

We expect our children to learn, grow, make mistakes and try again.

Parents probably need to do the same.

So yes, this blog will be about children’s books, Timmy and the stories I’m creating.

But it will also be about the real experiences behind those stories.

Patience. Fear. Sharing. Honesty. Big feelings.

And the sometimes hilarious, sometimes exhausting, incredibly rewarding experience of raising children while they’re figuring all of those things out.

Parenting isn’t always picture-perfect. But it certainly gives us stories worth telling.